Bronwen's Blog-in which the housekeeper at Grange Hill Farm brings you all the news and views from racing's hub.
Fri Jul 31st: - just the one Jumps card today at Bangor, but any thoughts I might have had regarding some peace and quiet were soon dispelled as we've not got any runners so I'm going to have them under my feet all day. Being as it's the last Friday of the month a degree of courage was called for as it's time to change the sheets. I generally err on the side of safety when tackling this health hazard and don my decontamination suit. Even the dog insists on some protective flea powder before entering bedrooms, but we both lived to tell the tale and I was sat down with coffee and a couple of Welsh Cakes to read the Post just before lunch. The headline therein proclaiming New Board To Propel The Industry Forward did little to aid the digestion.
Not another committee, surely? Well, yes, it looks that way, this one led by REL (Racing Enterprises Ltd) whose enterprising touch will be supplemented by the BHA and REL's partners, The Horsemen's Group and the Racecourse Association. Under the project title of Racing For Change ( with the current set up it would surely be more apt were it Racing For Loose Change) Nic Coward, head honcho of the BHA, reasons that "the success of the project depends on all parts of the industry working together to bring much-needed change". His sidekick, the new project's director, Rod Street, added his own measure of committee-speak with the mind-boggling, "the weight of expectation within the industry will ensure that it doesn't become just another committee, but actually propels the industry forward".
Well, after years of listening to the outpourings of Racing boards and committees I've got to tell him that there ain't much expectation down here. A letter in the Racing Post the other day cut through the crap with the writer pointedly observing that, amongst other things, Racing charged too high an admission price, offered appalling on-site refreshments and equally dreadful toilet facilities. Do we need another committee to stumble around finding ways of avoiding the blindingly obvious? Answers on a postcard to Bronwen.
At this point Nigel came in excitedly waving his new modelling contract from Gieves and Hawkes. Only joking! As indeed, presumably, was REL Chairman Chris McFadden when he said, "the board will be joined by 2 non-exec's with consumer experience outside horseracing which recognises the sport's need to better understand the broader market".
I've got a better idea. Give the job to the bloke who wrote the letter to the Post and spare us all this continuing nonsense.
Suitably disgruntled I've given myself the weekend off. See you again on Monday.......
Thurs Jul 30th: - the latest issue of Owner & Breeder arrived this morning. It has a few interesting articles but is so heavily slanted towards the Flat side of racing that it gets only a cursory appraisal here. Maybe the Flat bias is understandable in the light of the breeding side of the business, but much like the discrepancy in the division of prize money, so the magazine pays only relative lip service to the Jumps game. Which is surprising given that National Hunt becomes ever more popular with racing fans generally.
The President of the ROA, Paul Dixon, always features heavily and from the look of him he would appear to carry, in racing parlance," plenty of condition". So much so that he has the look of someone who has their head in the hay net 24/7 and I can't quite see him making it up our gallop without the crash team standing by. His piece this time seems to be heading for, if not actually advocating, the marketing of Premier racing, whereby the better horses race for a bigger share of total prizemoney and the less talented scrap over even fewer crumbs. Whatever one's view, who's going to market an initiative which I must confess I view as total bollocks? Presumably it will fall to into the lap of those nice people who recently gave us Brian and Ben who, Dixon tells us, are "about to launch a major initiative to tap into a new audience". In which case I can only say that truly there is no hope for racing in its search to plot a path to a more prosperous future.
Meanwhile, back in the land of reality and sanity today went rather well in Naunton. It only took me a couple of hours to clear up after Carl's birthday and we chalked up another winner at Stratford. Billie Magern and Tom Molloy had a fairly easy task but did it nicely, while Jackie Boy almost made it a double and probably would have done if Stratford was a right, rather than a left hand course. Nigel arrived back from Goodwood and went straight down to replace his "panama" on Worzel Gummidge's head who, it has to be said, looked slightly more at home in the head gear than the trainer.....
Weds Jul 29th: - there was great excitement here this morning as it's Carl's birthday and he was up about 5.30 with what's left of his little nose pressed to the window pane waiting for the postman's van. When Postman Pat arrived with a veritable sackful of cards the birthday boy was still a bit miffed as his Uncle Dai had forgotten to enclose the usual 10 shilling postal order. He had a 60 second hissy fit and kicked his building blocks right across the room, but soon calmed down when I reminded him of his party arrangements. He may be 44, he may still hold a jockey's licence and allegedly still has all his own teeth, but he wanted a party with all the trimmings and thus Nigel had left a fiver for some jellies before he buggered off to Goodwood. Carl only wanted girls at his party and gave me his little black book so I could get in touch with some of his favourites. Trouble was so many turned up that we had to move everyone from the covered barn to the village hall as there wasn't enough room. You'd think that at his age he might have calmed down a bit. Randy little sod. If he were a dog you'd have him straight down to the vet.
Fergal sounded chipper when he popped in after breakfast. Gallops are now getting back into full swing and there were 90 out at exercise this morning with another 20 still to re-appear. We've registered well over 100 for the season so let's hope that we're lucky with injuries and they all stay fit and healthy.
One of the party guest's mother has just arrived to pick her daughter up and wanted to know why her pride and joy was wearing different clothes to when she dropped her off. I knew I shouldn't have let them play Carl's favourite game, a mix of musical chairs and blind man's buff. He plays it with only one chair which he occupies all the time and they have to sit on his lap.They seem to fall for it every time........
Tues Jul 28th: - Oh bliss! A bit of peace and quiet today as we have 4 runners up at Perth, a course where we have a pretty good record and where Nigel can generally be relied upon to "enjoy" a night or two away. Well, he's gone, but not to Perth. Incredibly he's greased off to Goodwood for a couple of days, not that this worries me as the silence that's reigned since his departure has been truly golden. I saw him reading What To Wear At Goodwood while he was shovelling down his Readybrek this morning and the next thing he's stood in front of the mirror in the hall posing in a straw hat that he'd nicked from the scarecrow in Cathy's back garden. From the look on his face he obviously thought he'd hit the fashion jackpot and was last seen climbing into his battered Land Rover decked out in wellies, duffel coat and something resembling an upturned bird's nest. I do hope the television cameras didn't stumble across him on the Sussex Downs. People might think it's me or Queen Victoria who dress and send him out like that. Anyway, it's given me the chance to have a good tidy up in his room from whence I retrieved, among less savoury items, a number of well sucked gobstoppers and several old copies of The Beano from beneath his bed.
While doing this I got to thinking about the growing influx of Irish runners at our summer jumps meetings, an invasion that's growing both numerically and in terms of the amount of prize money being spirited back across the Irish Sea. Nobody's complained - yet! - but it's an odd state of affairs. For a start many of the Irish runners come over here because they find they're constantly being balloted out back home and can't get a run. This isn't a problem here and not even the pathetic nature of prize money on offer deters them. So we have this odd situation whereby the money's better over there but they choose to come here because they can't get in a race there. Cock-eyed or what? Throw in the fact that there are 2 sets of handicappers in Ireland and the U.K. disagreeing over the weight that should be carried on either side of the water and any visitors dropping in from outer space could be forgiven for wondering exactly what is going on. The easy answer would be to point them in the direction of the B H A, but it's arguable whether some of Racing's regulators are from planet Earth either.
Meanwhile up at Perth it chucked it down with rain and in a display of mutual antipathy our runners chucked it in. I can tell you it's a bloody long way home from there when there's nothing to show for it. Roll on tomorrow.......
Mon Jul 27th: - Life in Naunton is not so bad really even if the tidy fairy pays us a visit about as frequently as Buffy the vet foregoes supper. Nigel's wardrobe, if I can descibe it thus, views clothes hangers with overt suspicion and picking my way round piles of cast off laundry is a never ending chore, but I mustn't complain. This week, though, given the choice I must be honest and say that I'd rather be somewhere else, but unfortunately Galway doesn't figure on this year's holiday schedule and I'm just going to have to watch it on T V instead. I went for the first time several years ago and it really is the most tremendous fun.The reason why is perfectly simple. It's the people, all of whom are intent on hosting and sharing in a week-long party to which all visitors from across the water are especially welcome. On my first visit I was rendered virtually speechless when I arrived at the racecourse expecting something akin to Cheltenham but actually got something similar to Plumpton - but with more undulations. Add somewhere in the region of thirty thousand people squeezed in and you'd expect a recipe for disaster, but it's completely the opposite. It may not be as scenic as the Cotswolds and the quality of the racing a bit lacking for the purist (it's a mixed meeting for heaven's sake!), but for sheer warmth, friendliness and total enjoyment it wins by a distance. Mind you, Galway's week places a huge strain on wallet and liver, especially with so much Flat racing in the mix during which all right minded spectators get stuck in to the endless supplies of Guinness and the best rock oysters anywhere. Cheltenham's Festival meeting may be full of Grade 1's and it's great to be there, but the course itself has the scent of an out and out money making concern where the cash comes first and punters, not to mention members, come second. Galway's priorities seem different. If you can believe it it's even more fun than Punchestown! And this year I'm not there. Shame! Instead I'm doing the ironing and watching our one runner of the day at Uttoxeter. Moulin De La Croix runs well after a year off and looks nailed on for a mares hurdle later on when she strips a bit fitter. But it's no consolation for missing Galway.....
Sat/Sun Jul 25/26: - This must be the most boring weekend of the whole year. No jumps fixtures on either day, it's in between Tests and the golf's all done and dusted. What to do? In desperation I even sat down to watch the big Flat race at Ascot and witnessed Conduit rack up an extra £567k for a couple of minutes work in leading home a fairly moderate King George field. Not a bad day's work though, for trainer Sir Michael Stoute who saddled the first three home looking very dapper in double breasted suit. Mind you on his % of prize winnings he can afford a decent tailor. Nigel's saving up to send his duffel coat to the cleaners and wondering what chance there is of a knighthood coming his way too. I looked on Betfair and it doesn't seem to be quoted yet. Must be an oversight........
Fri Jul 24th: - a novel twist along the lines of "man bites dog" has emerged this week with the news that for the first time ever, a trainer has been suspended by a footballer. Increasingly part-time footie player, Michael Owen, has seemingly lost patience with the lack of success of his salaried private trainer and suspended him. For "suspended" I think we can safely assume "sacked", but as it's only Flat racing I won't be losing any sleep over it, even if this little role reversal cameo is not without its amusing irony.
After I'd done the chores this morning I bunked off to Southwell for a few hours as some friends of mine had a horse running. Stable jockey, Paddy Brennan, went there too for just one outside ride, but all to no avail and he returned home in similar humour to Carl when he gets caught for a round at The Hollow Bottom. However, I digress, for the main point in embarking on this little tale is to underline the absurdity and shortcomings of the U K's prize money levels.You see, my friends horse has now won 5 races in 12 months and they are only just showing a profit, a sorry state of affairs which needs no further comment. Luckily my friends just love the sport and don't mind walking round in rags to supplement their fun - I must write myself a note to remember to introduce them to Nigel. They should have lots in common......
Thurs Jul 23rd: - just the one jump meeting today at Uttoxeter, but we've not got any runners there so I've had the Odd Couple getting under my feet all day. It's worse than having the kids at home during school holidays and Carl got the right hump when Nigel won 3 games of Snakes & Ladders on the bounce. Mind you, I think he cheated at least once. I had to get Lynn down from the office to break up the ensuing squabble.
The headline in the Post brought the rumoured Levy Board cut into the spotlight with the report suggesting that prize money will fall next year by at least 5%. This further dilution of owners' winnings is compounded by the inexorable growth in fixtures - over 1500 scheduled for 2010. This prompts the question, "is there too much racing?" followed swiftly by another, " how long can this financial equation be sustainable?"
Seems to me that something's got to give. Maybe the bookmaking fraternity will increase their contribution to funds? Dream on, Bronwen......
Weds Jul 22nd: - in the same sporting week that's seen Tom Watson (59) hit the sort of dribbly putt that used to be my domain to lose The Open on the last green and Lords host a rare English Ashes victory over the Aussies (first since 1934 if you've been comatose for the last 48 hours) it would take something pretty special to deliver a performance of similar standing. Well, today at Worcester it came when Twiston-Davies rode the winner of the first. "Goodness me" I hear you gasp, "how could he possibly defy the years and several stone overweight to resume his truncated riding career?" Worry not, for the successful rider was young Sam T-D, who on this occasion didn't have to bunk off school, as opposed to his corpulent sire who nobody's too sure ever went to school. Sam, as neat and stylish in the saddle as the trainer isn't in the parade ring, chalked up another success in an embyonic career that promises to put the Twiston-Davies name on the map on a new level. His handling of David Pipe's Choumakeur, a difficult ride on rain softened groung, provided more evidence of a burgeoning talent.
Unfortunately the two stable runners at the meeting couldn't add to our tally as neither Civil Servant nor Sweet As Pye looked to appreciate the ground. Both are for sale and I'm sure that Nigel will consider a BOGOF (buy one get one free) if you ask him nicely.
Meanwhile the first Flat meeting at Ffos Las received as many plaudits as the inaugural Jumps fixture proving that at least some courses can deliver the goods. No surprise as it's Welsh owned, based and run. Up the leek crunchers!....
Tues Jul 21st: - dreary weather isn't it? I've had the washing out on the line since yesterday and it's getting wetter by the minute. Nigel's Y-fronts are so saturated that they've lost whatever semblence of shape they had in the first place (none) and now are akin to a hot air balloon that's lost an arguement with an overhead power cable. Carl's boxers look almost "romper suit" by comparison, but irrespective of the obvious size disparities there's no escaping that it's a wet pants day in Naunton.The damp mood wasn't exactly lightened by the news that trainer Karl Burke has been warned off for a year after admitting suplying inside information. If there were a few trainers around the country who were squirming in their seats recently after the Nicky Henderson "prohibitive substance" ban there will now be considerably more with palpitations as they consider the implications of "inside information" and the associated issues that lie therein. There but for the grace of God, and all that.
I may not be the sharpest knife in the box, but I've never been able to get my fevered brain around the vexed question of what exactly constitutes Inside Information. To start with there is the premise that each horse in every race runs strictly on its merits. All very well in theory and much proffered by the ruling body as a "must", but as likely in practice as Fergal O'Brien appearing in an advert for shampoo. With inexperienced or unfit horses or simply animals looking for a more lenient handicap mark, it's an absurdity to even contemplate the prospect of every runner trying equally hard every time. It simply ain't going to happen
Compound this "given" with the fact that 90%+ of owners can't possibly balance the books on prize money alone and one heads, inevitably, in the direction of a decent occasional bet to make up some of the differential. Which is where Inside Information rears its not altogether unattractive, but nonetheless unacceptable (according to the authorities) head. Should a trainer, well aware that he has a well handicapped, improving animal on his hands, not pass on this information to the owner? Can the trainer not divulge this to other trainers who may also have a fancied runner in a race? What if they want to have a bet themselves, but prefer to hide this by using a third party to put the money on? Do these, and a host of other possible scenarios constitute the heinous offence of passing on inside information? If the answer's in the affirmative then there are a host of trainer licences technically hanging in the balance - much like NT-D's kecks on the washing line.....
Mon Jul 20th:- everyone here seems to be pretty buoyant after a weekend of sporting action that delivered even more drama than it threatened - and it threatened a lot! Nigel has taken huge encouragement from old Tom Watson's performance in The Open at Turnberry and figures that he's a mere slip of a lad by comparison. In case you weren't aware Watson is 59, an age which, so the media would try to have us believe, is but a pitching wedge away from lowering the lid of the coffin. But I doubt that there's anyone in the country unaware that dear old Tom is 59 - it was the media's weekend mission to tell us so. Over and over and over again. Nigel's a lot younger than that, by the way - well, a year or so anyway. But a bit older than Freddie Flintoff who finally saw off the convicts at Lords to get our noses in front in the summer's main sporting battle for The Ashes.Marvellous! Freddie's so wonderful he must have Welsh ancestry.
Our sporting successes, while on a more modest scale, were no less pleasing for all that. Cootehill delivered win number 5 for the season by delivering the goods at Market Rasen on Saturday, in the process making himself responsible for 60% of those wins in the style of a fast improving novice. The first runner from Carl's string, Scalloway, also made his debut for.us, but rather let the side down by refusing to complete at Stratford yesterday where, incidentally, Bankstair was also happily in evidence to dispel fears that his recent lameness after his Worcester run was anything worse than a knock.
Today's action is pretty modest, pretty boring (mainly Flat) and doesn't concern us at all so I'll be engaged in some mundane zapping between At The Races and Racing UK. That racing's wares are split between 2 competing satellite channnels somehow says it all about the industry's on-going inability to show a unified and concerted face to the rest of the world. How much easier and more beneficial it would be if racing's factions all started to sing off the same song sheet. But what do I know - I'm only the housekeeper.......
Sat Jul 18th: - while we head to Market Rasen with Cootehill in the listed Summer Hurdle over 2m (winner's prize money £22,804) and Prestbury Knight in the listed Summer Plate H'cap Chase over 2m 6f (winner's prize money £37,056), 25 decidedly average 2YO's line up over 5f at Newbury in a race worth nigh on £100k to the winning connections. The distribution of prize money between Flat and National Hunt has always struck me as being questionable at least, heading toward iniquitous. and this merely underlines the disparity in funding between the two codes. If there is any crumb of comfort for those involved in the jumps game it lies in the fact that the situation used to be even worse. However, based simply on the distance run and the effort exerted by the horses, not to mention the inherent dangers associated, it makes no sense whatsoever. It is indeed a funny old world.......
Fri July 17th: - with wall to wall golf and cricket on telly there wasn't much housework planned for today. Cricket's a bit cerebral for Nigel so it was the Open at Turnberry that received most of his couch time as he can relate better to the likes of Calcavecchia and Daly who've obviously never been near a gym in their lives and who are not averse to the occasional gallon of liquid refreshment. The performance of Tom Watson at the age of 59 particularly caught his imagination, though he couldn't get over how he could play so well as a near pensioner one the one hand, but have such a "lived in" body on the other. Dear old Tom has got so much loose skin round his neck that he could qualify as the core ingredient for turtle soup, so Nigel wondered whether he should send him a couple of bottles of Queen Vic's dandelion elixir. Eventually he slid off the couch to plot a route to the time warp in Lincolnshire that is Market Rasen where we've got runners tomorrow. There are a few doubtful specimens lurking in the Fens too so he's thinking that he could use his own youthful well being as the ultimate promotional endorsement and put a few bottles in the boot. At a fiver a bottle and a marketing startegy based on "you too could look like me" he smells a potential nice little earner. Could be even easier than training racehorses....
Thurs Jul 16th: - as if breakfast isn't difficult enough having to view the trainer's histrionics while swallowing his pond water, today's mood was further darkened by the Racing Post's revelation that prize money contributions from the Levy Board are scheduled to fall by at least £6m. The resultant reduction in income for Grange Hill Farm was taken out on the boiled eggs which were subjected to an energetic display of g b h and the cat, who received a swift kick up the jacksy. It seems to be one of life's enduring imponderables - prize money levels being so pathetically low in in the U.K. in comparison to other racing countries. And now it seems destined to be an even more impoverished sport. Quite how the contribution to prize money by bookmakers, with their continuing huge profits, is allowed to remain so pitiful, is almost another story, but it's a scenario that remains acutely depressing and hardly bodes well for the future health of the sport.
No racecourse activity for us today as Cartmel is the lone jumps venue and the allegedly picturesque Lakeland track will have to remain a mystery to me until another day.......
Weds Jul 15th: - I awoke this morning to the whiff of something vaguely unpleasant. I knew that the pungent odour couldn't be attributed to the boys' underwear as I'd boiled up the weekly mound of pants only yesterday. The smell was reminiscent of when I last went cockling in Cardigan Bay and brought home a bucket of seaweed to complement my freshly baked laver bread. Eventually I tracked down the source of this vile odour to a bucket in the kitchen which was full to the brim with fermenting dandelions. Further enquiries revealed that this noxious brew was the handiwork of Victoria, Nigel's "friend", if you get my drift, who is apparently something of a homeopathic advocate. Her mission in life is to purge the evil toxins from the trainer's gut, which prompts the obvious question, "how many doses might be needed to nullify a life long gin and soda diet?" More than a glass or two of dodgy dandelion restorative, I venture. However, to his doubtful credit, or possibly simply to fall in line with the de-tox regime of Queen Victoria, Nigel dutifully holds his nose and quoffs a tumbler of what could easily pass as pond water every morning with his cornflakes. When he passes it again later on it can only have improved for the journey. It certainly couldn't smell any worse.
On a more pleasant note we had 3 runners today and they all ran okay with Gemini Aahs filling the runners up berth and Jackie Boy and Sweet As Pye (for sale!) both looking as though they'd come on for the race. Perhaps they'd also benefit from some dandelion brew in their evening feed.......
Tues Jul 14th: - back from my Cumbrian jaunt to again face the rigours of Grange Hill Farm, in particular the incessant demands of the masters of the house. As you can see, I'm a bit of a looker and with their Welsh chapel upbringing being based on the premise that if it's breathing it must be fair game I'm constantly having to check my wing mirrors. Pity the poor sheep!
Everything seems to be in order on my return and we even had the bonus of another winner (our 4th of the season) courtesy of Cootehill at Stratford on Sunday. Carl has apparently been turning out some dishes of distinction, but needed a bit of a hand to come to terms with the kitchen cooker. Apparently he couldn't quite reach the rear cooker rings, but with typical mental agility Nigel solved the problem by astute positioning of young Willy Twiston-Davies' "grow tall" step,thereby ensuring that supper came under orders in good time. There ensued the usual arguement over who was going to do the washing up, but in the end it was the trainer who donned the rubber gloves. He likes a bit of latex, does Nigel.
Thurs Jul 9th: - with little jumping action scheduled over the next few days and Carl proudly proclaiming that his culinary talents are well up to satisfying Nigel's voracious appetite I'm going to nip up to the Lake District for a few days R and R. A parting shot before I go, this one aimed at Uttoxeter and their Tuesday evening abandonment.The vagaries of the English summer meant that the course was unlucky with the weather as nobody could legislate for the amount of rain that fell during the day.That this led to parts of the course being designated unsafe for racing was entirely understandable. What wasn't, and where the racecourse stands in the dock alongside Worcester and Bellewstown, was the total absence of any P A announcement to let racing's component parts know what was going on. Keeping trainers, owners and the paying public up to speed is common sense, common courtesy and fundamental to showing a professional face to the watching world. Communication is such a simple thing and it's inexcusable when racecourses don't bother. Poor show!
I'll be back to put the racing world to rights again early next week..........
Weds Jul 8th: - In common with many N H yards we're gradually cranking up the tempo as the new season draws on. Yesterday we brought 10 of ours in from grass and these were supplemented by 8 from Carl's old base. We'll be getting more in over the next couple of weeks with the aim of having a good number fit enough to run by September.
Carl's 4-legged additions came with four 2-legged minders as some of the stable staff from Weathercock House have also made the trip to the Cotswolds. For Matthew "Foxy" Carter it's a return to old stamping grounds as he's been with Nigel before, but it's a new base for Olivia Curl, Becky Maycroft and Kate Marriage and it's good to have them all around.
The day ended on a positive note when our 3 runners at Worcester's evening meeting all made the frame with Billie Magern leading the way by getting us off the "cold" list by posting winner number 3 for the season. Well ridden by Tom Molloy, whose 5lb claim proved to be invaluable, it was just reward for Billie after a sequence of sound efforts. I had to smile when one of our other claimers, Sam Drinkwater, was given the ride on Poppy Parade who ran 3rd in the bumper. Sam, who rides as an amateur, has had limited opportunities thus far but must have seen the irony of a Drinkwater riding at Worcester so soon after their recent "liquid" problems.........
Tues Jul 7th: - When I looked in on Nigel this morning he was still in a soporific trance tucked up in his bed gazing at his Magic Roundabout mobile as it gently revolved in the morning breeze. Carl's room was empty, not for the first time, so goodness knows where the little perisher spent the night, but it gave me the chance to get first run on the Racing Post and check up on how my Monday evening betting system had fared. This is based on backing the favourite in the maiden race at Windsor's weekly evening meeting, a strategy which is so successful that so far this season it is only showing a 2 point loss to a level stake. Not bad, eh? It would have been a 3 point loss but for Applause earning a round of the same by hosing up in the 8.30 so we're almost breaking even and I'm starting to wonder about patenting the formula to safeguard against the likes of Mark Winstanley nicking it from the comfort of his couch.
Applause is trained by Jeremy Noseda who earned himself a rebuke from ATR commentator, Simon Holt, for refusing to be interviewed beforehand about the filly's chances. It's an old bone of contention, dug up every so often by the media, who currently seem to be on a bit of crusade to chastise the flat racing ranks for their relatively unhelpful attitude compared to their N H counterparts. I don't have a view on this, as frankly flat racing is so boring (Windsor maidens apart) that it commands none of my attention. However, there does seem to be a general media expectation that trainers/jockeys/owners should be available whenever required to help keep racing's publicity wheels turning with a detailed appraisal of their horses' chances. Here's the nub of he problem - what if a certain owner, or trainer for that matter, wants to keep this information out of the punting public's domain?They, of course, have every right to do this, without a critical broadside coming their way as a result. Applause's owner, Michael Tabor, ex bookmaker and now an owner of not inconsiderable means, may or may not have backed his horse and may or may not have wanted to let anyone else in on the secret. There's no definitive answer to this one, but sometimes the media's expectations cross the line of reasonableness and they have to accept and realise that theirs is not a divine right.
No runners at Uttoxeter's evening meeting tonight but, buoyed by the news that Worcester has gone heavy on the H2O order for tomorrow's fixture, Nigel and Carl and staff are taking their swim things and anticipate taking a cooling dip in one of the specially procured thousand litre bowsers during the course of the meeting. Potential underwater media interviews are not totally ruled out, but viewers may struggle to notice any difference anyway........
Mon Jul 6th: - Monday morning started badly, as it invariably does, when I attempted to force an entry to Nigel's bedroom through the foothills of copious undergarments desperately in search of laundery assistance. It was a scene plucked straight from The Day Of The Triffids, but being Welsh I'm used to confronting the scary and unsightly so I just waded in and two hours later I'd got my nose in front and was settled down for a coffee and a quick scan of The Post.
That Richard Dunwoody's a driven soul, isn't he? Never happy unless he's into a challenge bordering on the physically masochistic.This time he's apparently settled for merely a thousand miles round Newmarket in a thousand hours, with the very worthy sponsorship proceeds going primarily to Spinal Research ( see www.dunwoody1000mile.com for more details). Nigel, meanwhile is contemplating his own fund raising effort, this along the lines of a thousand trips to The Hollow Bottom in a thousand hours before the end of the summer. Anybody interested in sponsoring this herculean effort shouldn't send money. In its place a reviving gin and soda pre-paid and left behind the bar would serve as a suitable mark of recognition. For more details ring Hugh at the pub.
Thought of the day. Can Bellewstown, where they managed to start a race with the favourite still on its way to post, possibly be "twinned" with Worcester? They seem to be particularly well matched. Last thought for the day goes out to Simon Clare at Corals, upset by the BHA delivering their judgement on Nicky Henderson just prior to the running of this year's Coral Eclipse, thereby decimating coverage of "arguably the biggest flat race in Britain this year". Methinks not, Simon. P R may well be your thing, but get a life. For a start it's only a flat race.
Sun Jul 5th: - Exploring all avenues in a desperate search for a winner I'm off to church to see if a bit of spiritual guidance might pay dividends. Then it's feet up and watch the tennis. The boys can get their own lunch.
Sat Jul 4th: - I wish you'd been here for breakfast this morning to see the trainer's face. He was just tucking into his eggy soldiers when he caught sight of Jim McGrath's headline on the racing page of the Telegraph which notified him and the rest of the world that 'Henderson Ban Will Scare All Trainers'. He was in an agitated enough mood already as the newsagent cocked up the delivery schedule this morning and Nigel was still trying to work out who'd got his copy of The Sun without having to concern himself with the perils of racing's administrators as well. You could almost see the cerebral cogs whirring. Where had he left last night's nightcap gin and soda? He wouldn't have wandered into one of the stables with it, would he? There was no chance that Fergal might have spilt some into the feed? Was it detectable in a horse? What is T A anyway? He wrote a note on the back of his hand to ask Buffy and made a mental note never to have anything to do with anyone in the Territorial Army.
It's going to be a quiet weekend, at least on the racing front, as there's only Market Rasen providing any jumps action and it's not a track where we have many runners at the best of times. We're not running any tomorrow but maybe there'll be one or two from here at Uttoxeter and Worcester mid-week. What do you think the chances are of the latter track being waterlogged? If not I'm sure they can be relied upon to to find something to add to their impressive catalogue of disasters.........
Fri July 3rd: - The Racing Post reveals that Worcester are still in deep water (sorry!) following Wednesday's debacle and rightly so. There appears to be no excuse for such breath-taking incompetence by the racecourse management and heads should roll. However, as capital punishment is regretably not an option then at the very least the perpetrators should be placed in a ducking stool and immersed in the Severn for several minutes - or even hours. I mean, not even a P A announcement to let the punters know what was (or wasn't) going on. Hopeless!
Bigger news to emerge across the day, which came just as I was sweating off some leeks for tonight's Cottage Pie (Nigel loves a leek) saw Nicky Henderson receive a whopping fine and a 3 month ban from having runners anywhere, for what seems to have been construed as nobbling a runner. Given that the horse concerned is owned by the Queen he can probably count himself lucky that he's not already incarcerated in The Tower and Carl thinks that at the very least he's fortunate to have escaped gelding. More positively Nigel viewed the verdict with interest, reasoning that if similar crimes can be pinned on another 5 or 6 with a licence then Grange Hill Farm could be a reasonable bet for the trainer's championship this season...
Thurs Jul 2nd: - on the spur of the moment I decided to drop everything and head for Perth, having peered over Nigel's shoulder at breakfast and seen that some of my Celtic chums from across the water were there with a host of runners.
The day went well despite temperatures in the high 80's. The racecourse didn't run out of water and though a few horses wobbled in the heat they bore up better than many occupants of the Owners & Trainers Bar where they wobbled a lot and there were a couple of fallers. Inevitably it was a late return to Naunton, but Carl and Nigel made life a little easier for me by cleaning their teeth and washing behind their ears before I got them into their pyjamas and put them to bed.
Weds Jul 1st: - Phew! Hot, isn't it? Temperatures are in the 90's here and with Sod's law inevitably making its presence felt I've got a basket full of ironing to attend to, so I'm stripped to my bra and panties to help keep a bit cooler. I think I'm safe to flash the flesh as Carl's not around this afternoon. Anyway, I'm in my 30's and way too old for him.
I had the racing on while melting over a hot iron and watched in bewilderment as Worcester was abandoned because they'd run out of water. At the very track that holds the record for abandonments due to flooding this time they had to pull the plug after one race as they couldn't fill the buckets quick enough to cool the horses down. The TV cameras caught one solitary hosepipe in action and all I can say is that I've seen the contents of Nigel's bladder emerge with greater force. Coming after Salisbury's "Ice Cream-gate" and the BHA spending £250k on a marketing initiative that delivered us the ubiquitous Brian and Ben( Bill and Ben more likely) at £125k for each implausible stereotype, the marketing people probably couldn't believe their luck as they rushed to the bank. I got to thinking that it wasn't too long ago that the BBH (they change the name the way that George Ward changes trainers) shut down their in-house marketing dept by withdrawing the necessary budget. So what do they do? They go and spend a cool quarter £m on arguably the most inane marketing document ever written.
SometimesI think that racing must have a death wish and that I ought to get a more reputable job - not that this would be possible, of course........
Bronwen - in typical housekeeper pose.